How will you respond to the inevitable obstacles of life?

Not much is guaranteed in life. But I can absolutely promise that you will encounter many obstacles and struggles. These may affect only you, or they may affect your family, your community, or the entire globe. These may be small frustrations or overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. It is guaranteed that each of us will face adversity. But how we deal with that adversity determines the future direction of our lives. Bear with me while I start with some analogies.

It is spring in Iowa, so we are having our usual periods of thunderstorms and strong winds. I love to sit in the house and hear the wind howl at the windows and watch the trees sway. A large tree with brittle inflexible wood may snap or break in a strong wind. A solid-walled semi trailer, if caught just right with a strong side wind, can blow off the interstate.

Three springs ago, my husband, daughter and I took a hot air balloon ride. It really struck me while we were floating, that we couldn't hear the wind. In fact, when the burner system is not running in the balloon, it is so quiet you can hear distant traffic. It seems totally peaceful and still, yet the wind is what is propelling the balloon. A hot air balloon is designed to have minimal resistance against the wind and air so that it can float. With no resistance, you move with the wind and therefore don't hear or feel the wind. It just feels like stillness.

An industrial windmill, or wind turbine, uses wind to produce a significant amount of energy. Wind turns the large blades, which are connected to a drive shaft, which spin a generator, which then creates electricity. According to the US Energy Information Administration, the average wind turbine generates enough electricity in only 46 minutes to power one U.S. home for an entire month. One average turbine can power 940 homes!

So what does all this mean for you? How are you going to react to the inevitable challenges that come your way?

Our default reponse is typically to resist what is happening. We stand like a brittle huge oak against the raging wind, yelling "This shouldn't be happening! You shouldn't act like that! It isn't supposed to be this way! This isn't how I planned it!" You get the idea. We spend all of our energy fighting against what is. Sometimes for years. Sometimes even for our entire lives. Resisting or fighting the facts, or reality, or what is, or our history, only adds to the body's stress and suffering. In a way, it is continuing to live in denial of what is - you think "perhaps if I yell loud enough, this thing will change. Perhaps if I suffer enough, the past will change." But what is done is done. What is, is. You cannot stop the wind.

The next phase of a response, if one is open to it, is to intentionally drop the resistance to what is. Accept that the wind, the obstacle, the challenge being presented, is out of our control. This does not mean at all that we condone injustice or give assent to things that are opposed to our values. It simply means that we fully see what is going on. The blinders are off. Instead of living in a way that resists and denies the full reality of the situation, we really see it. We say, "ok, I see exactly what is happening here and what has happened." This is how she behaves. This is how that company makes decisions. This is what is happening in our country. This is the diagnosis. Once you fully see something and accept the facts with no resistance, you can choose with clarity what you will do next. How will you respond? What will you choose to focus on in your life? What can you control?

In Byron Katie's book A Thousand Names for Joy (https://thework.com/books/), I found this paragraph helpful. "I've heard people say that they cling to their painful thoughts because they're afraid that without them they wouldn't be activists for peace. 'If I felt completely peaceful,' they say, 'why would I bother taking action at all?' My answer is 'Because that's what love does.' To think that we need sadness or outrage to motivate us to do what's right is insane. As if the clearer and happier you get, the less kind you become. As if when someone finds freedom, she just sits around all day with drool running down her chin. My experience is the opposite. Love is action. It's clear, it's kind, it's effortless, and it's irresistible."

The last and most potent phase of responding to adversity, if one continues to be open to the process, is asking yourself "how can I use this?" How is this working for me? What good can possibly come from this? How can I more creatively look at this in order to move forward in a positive way? How can I take this inconvenience and think of a new creative way around it? How can I take this tragedy and create good? What can I produce from this? In what way might my life positively change because of this? How can I turn this resistance into fuel?

In Ryan Holiday's book The Obstacle is the Way (https://store.dailystoic.com/products/the-obstacle-is-the-way-expanded-10th-anniversary-edition), he tells the story of Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, a successful boxer in the 1960's who was wrongly accused of and imprisoned for a triple homicide. Carter maintained his innocence and "declined to surrender the freedoms that were innately his: his attitude, his beliefs, his choices... Every waking minute was spent reading - law books, philosophy, history. They hadn't ruined his life - they'd just put him somewhere he didn't deserve to be and he did not intend to stay there. He would learn and read and make the most of the time he had on his hands. He would leave prison not only a free and innocent man, but a better and improved one." Nineteen years later, the verdict was overturned, and Carter resumed his life.

Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Victor Frankl writes in Man's Search for Meaning (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mans-search-for-meaning-viktor-e-frankl/1116930713), "We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters ... is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement."

What are you currently being met with in life? Are you spending all of your energy resisting what is and what has been done? Consider dropping the resistance and taking a clear-eyed look at what is. Then nod and focus your energy on what you can control. And finally, take what you can control and use that as fuel to make your life and the lives of others better. Make the transition from old oak to hot air balloon to windmill.